The cold apple pucker and pink Champagne may not even touch my lips tonight. How utterly depressing.
I have a headache. One that, if it continues, I do not want to mix with alcohol. Why you ask? A few days ago, hormones would have been the answer. Today? It's residual--leftover from yesterday. Did the girls try and strangle each other for the umpteenth time? Well..yeah, yeah they did but that wasn't what caused the headache. Did Matt toss and turn, snoring all the while, so that I didn't sleep very well at night? Well yeah...yea of course he did but that wasn't it either. Rather it was our fireplace--our gas fireplace--that caused all of this.
We have read the manual (shocker there) and know full well that the first couple times you burn that sucker (3 to 4 hours the first time, 12 hours the next), there *could* be fumes from the oils and paints they use to cure the logs and such inside. <snort> "could"...right. The smell was so overwhelming, even with a window open allowing cold December air to blow into our already cold living room, that within two hours of starting it, I had a migraine, my neck was stiff, I felt sick to my stomach and determined that some sort of horrible toxin was trying to raid my body. Unfortunately that feeling continued through the night and into today. I dared not even turn that thing back on today for its 12 hour second burning cycle because I just couldn't stand the thought.
So alas <sigh> it may be a dry NYE here in my house--for me atleast. Not that I planned to live it up--it's just not in me to really do such a thing--especially with young children in the house (even if they are sleeping at that point). But I did look forward to a toast or a shot or two amongst the h'orderves we are serving for dinner.
So have one for me, wontcha? You can tell me how great it was tomorrow morning.
Here I sit, sporting pink polar bear jammies with steaming coffee infront of me on the desk, reflecting on the past year of my life. At first thought, my brow furrows a bit as I try to remember details but have only the big events come to mind--the most obvious being that I am no longer typing in the same house I was a year ago. But as I went over a year's worth of blog posts (which, for me, meant 218 of them), I am reminded that this has been, indeed, quite an eventful year.
Instead of coming up with a list of resolutions and urging you to do the same as so many blogs out there are doing today, I figured I would do a "Remembrance of 2008" and include an obnoxious amount of links so you can all relive it with me. Afterall, what are resolutions other than (broken) promises and (unachieved) goals anyway? (Although I am happy to report, our change in diet did stick). I would rather not spend every NYE looking back and feeling like a failure so you will never hear me make a single New Year's resolution but rather, I'd like to reflect back on how much has happened--good and bad--and be reminded that through it all, I am pretty damn blessed.
We'll start with the most obvious change in 2008-the aforementioned big move. I still look back and am simply amazed that we pulled it off--and pulled it off so well--in this current housing market. We managed to finish the home projects, sell our old house in just a couple week's time and move to a new home we hope to be in for many years to come. The process, as smooth as it was, was not without its challenges however, like all the showings and packing up the entire household by myself. We have also found the move to be quite the learning experience realizing that moving out to the country not only means giving people directions like "turn right at the John Deere tractor" but also, living amongst many creatures of both the legged and limbless kind.
Some of the other events that happened to our family during 2008 had to do with the Navy aspect of our lives. Not only did Matt get pinned Chief, one of the hugest accompliments of his Naval career, but we also prepared for our first deployment in over 5 years. It was an extremely emotional and trying time, but I am forever reminded just how strong us Navy wives truly are as I continued to battle migraines, illness, home repair, and the everyday struggles that seem to pop up when I am going solo (especially those ER visits). I am also reminded that although there are times when there is no doubt Matt makes a much larger sacrifice than I do, there are also times when I find myself incredibly jealous of his adventures.
Shortly into the deployment, we found out that Matt was being sent home unexpectedly since his promotion meant there was no longer room for him on the ship. After this many years as a Navy wife, you would think I would know better-nothing goes as planned and we spent 2 weeks agonozing while Matt was abandoned in Bahrain. As with any time of separation, though, there is always the amazing reunion. I will try to focus on this fact as Matt's upcoming 7 month deployment looms over us.
I could never compose a blog entry about our year and not mention our girls. The three amazing, goofy, unpredictable individuals that I sometimes am shocked I gave birth to. This was a big year for Jules as she took on double digits , had surgery, and had another hugely successful year in school. The move was initially quite difficult on her as she had to leave behind several close friends, but 7 months later, I can confidentally say this has been an amazing change in her life as I watched her make more friends here in a couple months time than she ever did in all her years in the old town. She adores her school, her teachers, her soccer team, her neighborhood buddies; I am no longer plagued by mom guilt. Alyssa, the child that, as I have mentioned before, continues to show me that I know nothing about parenting, continued with her "Lyssieisms" and insights of wisdom and random knowledge, as well as began a very impressive soccer season along side of Jules. And who, among my readers, could ever forget Madilyn's year? She showed us how to relieve anger, behave in public, verablize the most important of inquires and desires, and reminded us just how fast the baby days of early childhood really do pass us by.
As I have watched our girls grow, literally every day, before my very eyes, I found myself having a bit more down time--more "me time". At first I was not quite sure what to do with myself. I aimlessly wandered around the house looking for stray pet hairs to lint roll, crumbs to vacuum, and dirty laundry I could pretreat. It didn't take long to realize I was not making the best of my time and although I can not commit, just yet, to going back to school, I could atleast pick up a good book and pursue some of my other interests, being careful not to neglect my family obligations too much.
This year was also one where we positively impacted the lives of a few animals-something important to all of us. We adopted another furry kiddo from a local rescue, reported and followed up on a case of farm animal neglect, and also saved a turtle from a potentially bad afternoon.
Of course during 2008 there have been other random events that have happened that were worthy to write about. Some were horrible tragedies that touched us personally, some were potential downfalls, hyped up by the media, that I am sad to see becoming more and more true each day, while others were happy occurrences and celebrations.
I can not end this post without thanking all of you who actually read this blog that I initially started for my own selfish reasons. In three years time, it has gone from something I began mainly because I was too lazy to handwrite in a journal and wanted, desperately, to remember the good and bad of my everyday life, to a website that family, friends and total strangers check on a regular basis to relate, to laugh, to cry, to basically follow along in life with me. It may not be one of the popular blogs out there, I may not get paid for my efforts but it means so much that people out there enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. I hope to continue to post as often as I do now--sharing recipes, sharing the good, the bad and the embarrassing, sharing in a way that makes you feel as if you were peeping in my front windows. I can assure you of one thing, however, as long as my family and life continues to give me the material, I will never suffer a day of writer's block and, therefore, there should always be a lot to read about here. I hope you will continue to do so.
My very best wishes for a successful and fulfilling 2009 go out to each and every one of you. Be well. Be safe. Be happy.
The annual holiday trip to Jersey started off surprisingly well. I had started packing odds and ends well in advance so by the time the morning came for us to leave, Matt and I found ourselves sitting down actually having a conversation while we waited to pick up Jules and Alyssa from school. I dare to say, after 7 years of doing this whole Christmas in NJ ordeal, we finally have it down to a science.
The trip went well since we had packed a ton of favorite snacks and a lot of movies. God bless in car DVD players. Yeah I know..how did we ever survive growing up just playing spot the license plates and listening to music on our walkmans? I do look back fondly on the trips with Jules when she was the lone child in, what was, a very calm small family--we never had such a thing as a portable DVD player. She just played, we talked, listened to music..she was an amazing traveler. This goes back to the whole "I thought I was a great mother that knew it all" that I have mentioned before. Then 2002 came and brought with it our second daughter-Alyssa. Alyssa, God bless her, has always been an awful traveler. From day one, it was nothing but screaming. I could handle that going to the food store but 6 hours of screaming going to NJ was another story. I remember quite vividly our first trip to NJ with her as an infant--Matt and I were forced to take separate vehicles due to the amount of things we had to cram into our small Elantra and his equally small Jeep. At the first rest stop, Jules begged him to take her in his car and I was almost in tears cursing a string of words that would make a sailor cringe. Once she was older and I borrowed a DVD player from a friend, that was the end of it. I had found the magic "off" button. TV. Several years, three kids, a puking dog and many solo road trips later, it is a God send and I challenge anyone that says car rides are better without them.
Moving on....
We arrived at Matt's mom's place (an adorable log cabin in south jersey with several acres of land and blueberry fields galore) that evening and had some good ole Jersey pizza (the first of 5 pizza nights on that trip actually) and just relaxed. The next day the girls and I were treated to a Christmas Cirque show in Atlantic City at the Trump theater. Many of you might be shocked to find out that I have actually never been to Atlantic City in all of my 21 years of living in NJ. My 21st birthday was actually spent not at the slots but rather at a Thanksgiving gathering at my Gmom's house. After that, it just never was a priority to visit. I was rather shocked at how well..dumpy the whole area was. Granted, it had a few nice, upscale type stores but the homes and alley ways were shocking. Once inside, the shock continued. I suppose I should not have been surprised by the tacky pink and gold bathrooms--pink tiles ready to fall from the walls and gold flaking from the toliet paper holders-but I really was. I guess I just expected it all to be better kept. The Trump theater was small and intimate but far from impressive. We were taken to our seats which were almost against a wall in the far corner so seeing the stage was almost impossible. After much deliberating about how the girls would see anything, a usher came over and moved us to center booth seats which allowed all of us to have quite an amazing view of the show. The show, overall, was quite wonderful and entertaining but the highlight for me was when one of the candycane girls, with an ass I would kill for, came bouncing up through the audience, locked eyes with me and asked if I wanted to help her. Before I could finish agreeing, she grabbed my hand and yanked me from my seat. I walked hesitantly behind her as she continued to prance like a reindeer, wondering if I would soon be swinging from a hoop hung 20 feet above the crowd. Luckily my roll was only that of a bell ringer--one of five picked from the audience. Our performance lasted about 15 minutes and involved following the direction of a a rather temperamental elf. After a brief theatrical flirt with the ridiculously dressed Elvis elf, I was allowed to return to my seat. I asked Jules if she would like my autograph to which she responded with a "You are EMBARRASING me!". I am going to guess that was my 15 minutes of fame in life and will try not to be too depressed by that fact.
Sunday brought about the family Christmas dinner with my sister in law and her family, Matt's gmom and uncle joining us for a spread of amazing food and presents. Luckily my first attempt at making Snickerdoodle cookies didn't turn out to be too crappy and it was an overall relaxing day.
Monday rolled along and by this point, our kiddos were dropping like flies. Although we, by some miracle, had managed to arrive in NJ without illness, that quickly changed as we encountered more and more "sickies" as well as more and more public places in which to pick up a lovely germ or two. Alyssa had a break from her fever that had shown up during our Christmas dinner the night before, so we bundled up and headed into Philly to see the Macy's Christmas display from my childhood (although, in my day, it was held at Lord and Taylor's and Strawbridges). The high speed line train trip into the city was definitely the highlight for the girls. Madi sat in the first seat next to the conductor and demanded he go "faster, faster!" He was friendly enough to hold a conversation with her and even stick his head out the window at our station to say goodbye to her. We walked a few blocks to Macy's and ended up seeing the light show just as it began. I highly recommend heading in to see it if you ever get the chance. Macy's in Philly is impressive in its own right with its three story high ceilings, 2 foot crown moldings and elegant flooring and carvings. They certainly knew how to build them in the old days. But throw in a 3 story light show and a life sized walk through of the Christmas Carol story (all for free) and you really get a treat for the holiday season. I was thrilled that my new camera was able to capture the amazing sights so well and without the orbs and dark shadows I would have received with my old piece of junk I had used the year before.
Another brief walk in the wind and cold (we went on the coldest day we had the entire time up there.below 0 windchill), brought us to Reading Terminal Market for some lunch. Although I am assured by my parents that I have eaten there as a child, I have no recollection so it was quite interesting. For those of you that have never been, imagine a mall food court times about 10 and plop it into a factory type setting. Finding a place to sit and eat was a bit challenging and I shyed away from Matt's suggestion of sitting in the very back dark section where there is a small but very rowdy shoe shine place and chose to sit in the brightly lit center area. A nod goes to the amazing fresh moz and basil sandwich I had a real on philly roll (meaning not the pathetic so called "hard" rolls I have to deal with now that only slightly resemble Philly rolls after they have been put through the broil cycle of our oven)
The speed line trip back into NJ was trying from a parental perspective. Madilyn had been quite the angel that day but the oncoming cold gave her some rather...well..."raw material" to work with. She used this opportunity to show everyone she could how good she really was at digging in her nose.
We arrived home that evening, had some dinner and headed out once again to visit the Christmas Lights house from last year. A few more songs and lights were added making the display just as enjoyable as the first time we saw it.
Huge kudos to that house on Reading Ave-you guys are amazing.
Unpacking at my parent's took a good hour since I was going solo and I wasn't about to interrupt my Dad from his cookie making (since it meant warm chocolate chip would be waiting) or bother my sick mother to help out. The girls happily played with the train set in the basement as I lugged in what seemed to be endless luggage and presents. My
brother and his family arrived shortly after and before we knew it, we had a housefull.
Christmas Eve rolled around, Matt arrived at my parent's for his Christmas presents and traditional birthday coffee cake and we slowly prepared for that evening's Wigilia celebration at our cousin's place. There is not much to report about that evening--same as always--lots of presents, lots of catching up with people we only see once a year and way too much Polish food for a picky chick's tastes. We arrived home pretty late that evening, well past the melting point for Madilyn.
Christmas morning went by quickly as always--breakfast, present opening and preparing to head back to the in laws to pick up Max, who they had kindly dog sat for us the night before. Even more family arrived-both from mom and dad's sides--for Christmas dinner. Later that evening, Matt and I decided it would be best to cut our trip one day short and head out the following day with so many things looming over us once we arrived home. We really needed the extra day at home before Matt returned to work.
The trip home went smoothly enough with only a small puking incident on Max's part. We arrived home that evening to two very enthusiastic cats and were up late trying to put away everything we possibly could although settling in truly took all weekend.
this huge ordeal of buying gifts, wrapping them, packing them up, loading them into the van, unwrapping and packing them back up to come back to our place. It is, hands down, the most stressful trip of the entire year and two or three solo trips with the girls still would not equal the complexity of the one holiday trip we take with Matt there. However, in the end, we always walk away with very fond memories and somehow, it just would not feel right if we didn't head to good ole Jersey every December, so, for now, I can't foresee an end to that tradition.
Our final present to Madilyn this Christmas season was a handmade
mailbox. Matt made it just her height--it has the little magnetic
closure on the door-identical to a real mailbox--and of course, the
flag is operating. I added the flowers and bird so she can do some
pretend gardening. She is so obsessed with checking and receiving the
real mail right now that we figured it would be fun to have one her
size where we can leave little notes for her during naptime.
Blame it on the horrific traffic we encountered on the Jersey Turnpike. Blame it on the dozen gift exchanges I have to now make. Blame it on the laundry, the food shopping, the unpacking, the girls bickering over their toys. Regardless of what actually killed it, the fact remains--my holiday spirit is dead.
So be forewarned. I will no longer graciously give you the spot I have marked with my blinker. I will be the one whipping in to cut you off. I will no longer step aside as you push me out of the way in the store. I will be the one ramming your heels with my cart if you dare move too slowly. I will no longer ask how you are doing today. I will be the one acting as if you don't exist as you scan my items of purchase.
As is the case with me, the above might be a slight exaggeration but not by much. I am finding the stress of the post holiday season so much worse than preparing for it all and it is leaving me in a rather foul mood. I apologize in advance if my future posts are filled with a bit more attitude.
A full holiday recap and photos will follow in a day or two.
In a few hours, we are packing up the mini van full of kiddos, movies, snacks and a puking dog to head to NJ to visit family for the holidays. Although I will have internet access, I doubt that I will be posting very much on here.
What is on the agenda during our visit? Our first stop will be my mother-in-law's place where I plan to hand the girls off so I can get drunk on wine and go quad riding through the blueberry fields. After that, it'll be off to my parent's where although I will not be drunken in state, I will, surely, be quite busy helping my Mom prepare for entertaining and our annual Christmas Eve Wigilia get together.
If I do not post prior to Christmas, my best wishes and blessings to all of you--May no one dare to give you a fruitcake and may the blushing in your cheeks be caused not by the weather but rather by many, many glasses of alcohol.
Be well. Be safe. Be happy.
I think its safe to say that this time of year brings out the very worst in people. Sure you see people dropping money into donation buckets, picking up extra toys for children that need them, and the checks for church certainly increase, but I have never encountered as many rude people as I do during this time of year. People get so wrapped up in the craziness of it all and it seems they care not for whom they run over with the shopping cart in order to grab the last of something they probably do not need.
However, this is not an entry about the general negativity of the holiday season but rather about something more specific that bothers me.
Now I try to do my best during this time of year. I am the one that takes a deep breath and allows you to take the spot close to the store that I had marked with my blinker even if it means I have to park so far away that I need a GPS system to find my way back. I am the one that smiles at you sincerely as you shove me out of the way with a huff since apparently I am moving too slowly for your tastes. I am the one that asks the cashier how they are doing today and actually waits for a response so I can nod kindly and tell them to "take care" since Lord knows their job has to suck right about now. I do my very best to be sincerely kind, smile as much as I can at strangers, and be patient--something, if you know me well enough, know full right well I was not born to be.
However, nothing will bother me more than carefully picking out a check out line, standing there triumphantly because I managed to find the shortest one (or the one without candy for Madi to try and shop lift), and then see that you are writing out a check. And not just paying with a check but writing it out after the total has been given because Lord knows the store name, date or your signature might change if you happen to write it prior to that point. I seem to have a knack for picking to stand behind such people, and I swear it's the big guy's idea of teaching me even more patience. I try to take deep breaths, to visualize being somewhere else, to even take the opportunity to people watch, but it never fails--I feel my blood pressure shoot up and I am left wondering if it's worse to be behind someone paying by check or someone that is counting out exact change in an excruciatingly slow manner.
I think it's about time stores designate a specific "checks only" line for such people. Afterall, we have express lanes for people with 10 or less items, we have "cash"only lines, why not a check writing line or in the very least, a line or two that says "credit cards only--NO CHECKS"?
Today I attempted to buy a last minute gift online through a site connected with Ebay. It became clear, upon check out, just how long it has been since I have used Ebay. I am not a huge online shopper since I normally like to shop in person only because I am anal about handling things prior to purchase.
I went to sign into my Ebay account and realized I didn't even know what my user ID would be. I took a couple guesses and when my oldest ID was the one that worked, I started to fully realize how long it really has been. I finally had the user ID correct and by some miracle, was able to guess my password, however, it would not let me continue through to check out until I changed my password to something more secure. I happily complied and did just that. However, when I attempted to sign back in using that new password, it would not allow me to do so. The next logical step was to have the password sent to my email. After several minutes, I noticed the email had not come through and it dawned on me that it probably went to the email address I used many, many years ago and can no longer access. My final option to access my original Ebay account was to have them call me. Oh but lookie there, my number on file is our old one and I don't mean the old one from our first house but rather from our apartment 7 years ago. At this point, I was becoming quite frustrated but decided to just go ahead and create a new account. I went through all the motions only to be told, at the end, that I already had an account with them. It brought me back to the original page to sign or have my info emailed to me. This is when the first curse word slipped through my lips. I tried once more to sign in and, of course, could not. When I attempted to have my info emailed me to again, hoping against hope that it might actually work this time, I was told I had too many log in and identity verification attempts to continue.
My hair might be shorter, I may have a few more wrinkles and surely an extra freckle or two, but crap, Ebay, I am still the same Stacey I was 7 years ago--now let me into my account, damn it!
Looks like Ebay and all of their partner sites won't be receiving my business any time soon. Ah well...back to shopping in person.
I am sorry, my husband, that I have been nothing more to you in the last week than an almost lifeless facade of my former self. I suspect that when I did the dishes, I left specks of hardened pasta and unidentifiable goo and apologize that you were forced to wash them all over again. I am well aware that you probably did not receive as much sleep as you needed to as you struggled to stay awake into the wee hours of the morning with me--refusing to go to bed without me. And I have a sinking feeling I was very unreceptive to your goodbye kisses in the morning since I had finally crashed and my brain could not process what the normal response should have been.
I am sorry, girls, that I have been a shell of a mother that has done only the basics for you in the last week--I have fed you but prepared the meals without much thought or feeling. I made sure your clothes matched but realize now, your socks may not have. I have made sure you made it to school but can not promise you did not have remnants of breakfast on your faces or that I did not forget a juicebox in your lunch.
I am sorry, to those of you that have had to share the road with me in the last week because I do not doubt that there were times I probably made you nervous with my sudden braking behind you as I stared at your back window with a blank face. I also suspect that you did not appreciate the loud alternative music you heard coming from the mini van beside you. I did notice you rolled up your windows but I just couldn't be concerned enough at the time to lower the volume.
And lastly, I apologize to my readers (although few in numbers and yet more loyal than I deserve) that I have done nothing more in the last week than post a few book reviews and shove my nose quite smugly in the air to declare how many pages I have read (over 2500, by the way) in such a short period of time. I realize now that you probably find Madilyn's boogers and her declarations of nudity more entertaining than those ramblings, but I was just too consumed in the last week to notice if my daughter was running through the aisles of Walmart in a diaper with a green glob proudly held high in the air. (I do, however, apologize to fellow shoppers for that because I am pretty sure there was an episode or two that I am not recalling).
But fear not. I am done. I have finished the last book in the Twilight series and, therefore, all of this nonsense should cease and I should resume normal human responses and behaviors very shortly. I can almost hear the collective sigh of relief and promise, atleast once the holiday craziness is behind us, that I will soon be back to sharing the most intimate of details in my family's life as well as the sometimes monotonous and yet humorous routines of my life that seem to entertain others as much as they entertain me.
Thanks for hanging in there and please accept my sincerest of apologies.
One of the joys for Madilyn during this holiday season is donating to the Salvation Army outside of our local stores. She lights up into a smile each time she hears the bell ringing and sees that dangling red bucket just waiting for her quarters. The coins are held so tightly in her fist that her lil knuckles start to turn white as she excitedly spits out, "My do, mommy! My put money in!"
Last week was a particularily darling moment as she leaned over from my hip to drop the coins into the bucket. The woman that was working the station that morning smiled and thanked Madilyn for her donation. Madi's head shot up to look at the lady, a grin spread across her little face and she exclaimed suddenly, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"
I suppose, in a very religious way, she is correct so hey we'll roll with that...Happy Birthday to all, and to all a good night...
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